“There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other.” ~ J. K. Rowling
This is a story about running.
For most of my life, beginning in high school you could define me in a number of ways; many of them somewhat tainted I would imagine. But above all, since the day that I joined my high school’s cross country team I could best be defined as a runner.
It was what I did; before work, during work, after work; in the city, through forests, on beaches and in foreign lands. I got lost in New York, took an early morning run through the Gettysburg Battlefield, watched the sunrise over the Washington Monument in D.C and ran between the columns of the Piazza San Pietro in the Vatican. Running was rooted in who I was. It both satisfied me and frustrated me to the point of throwing away a few pairs of perfectly good running shoes and swearing I would never run again. At times the ups and downs of running strained my marriage.
Unlike many runners I’ve never romanticized running. The whole notion of crediting running with opening some mystical window that reveals the meaning of life has always made as much sense to me as pouring a fine old single malt Scotch into the toilet. While I’ve loved the highs of running and hated down times with a blind rage I never bought into the mumbo jumbo, that absurd sports voodoo, of running as some sort of spiritual panacea. There’s never been any zen involved. It’s just exercise that occasionally provided the added bonus of sightseeing. It didn’t provide me with any philosophical insights or solve my problems or relieve stress. It certainly wasn’t going to get me closer to God unless I was unlucky enough for my heart to seize up in mid-stride and in that case there was never any guarantee that I wouldn’t end up looking for the ice water station in that other place.
This is also a story of my dearest friend Ivy (not her real name) who I met at a former workplace. She came from war torn Southeast Asia when she was a baby. When we met I was 45 and she was 25. I was a buyer and Ivy was the overqualified Microsoft certified IT person; both of us marooned on the dreary, godforsaken island of industrial distribution.
The featured photo was taken at the San Francisco Botanical Garden and processed through my editing program just prior to the program croaking. The original intent for this post was a photo essay on The San Francisco Botanical Garden, a 55 acre urban oasis of plants and flowers in Golden Gate Park. Try as you might though you’ll find no photos, save the cover, of the San Francisco Botanical Garden. That’s not to say that I was in any way lazy and put off taking the photos. It was two Saturdays of walking miles and taking well over a hundred exposures. So, yes, there are photos of the garden. They’re just, let’s say, still in fermentation. I will post no photo before it’s time. As a result I’ve changed the title from Friday Fotos – The SF Botanical Garden to Not Friday and Not The Post on the San Francisco Botanical Garden. While preparing photos for my post on the S.F Botanical Garden that is now the Not Friday and Not The Post on the San Francisco Botanical Garden, my Photoshop Elements program went into convulsions before apparently expiring to that big hard drive in the sky. My own attempts to resuscitate the program all failed and so I combed the online forum, a resource which I’ve always found to be a running chronicle of good intentions, trial, disappointment and repetition. After pouring through the usual forum thread of frustration and with my PSE program in its final death throes I went to one final act of desperation and looked for a phone number to contact Adobe support. I was left speechless when I actually found a number. Speechless turned out to be the operative word because as the story unfolded there wouldn’t be much speech to speak of … so to speak.
As a result of that phone call this Not Friday and Not The Post on the San Francisco Botanical Garden is now just a venting of the spleen; billingsgate, to use one of my favorite words. And why not? A good venting is often a pleasurable thing. I’ve found that venting can be sort of like going without underwear for a few hours. It’s an airing out that has a refreshing quality about it. And what better place to take off my underwear than at Adobe.
The featured photo was taken at the San Francisco Botanical Garden and processed through my editing program just prior to the program croaking. The original intent for this post was a photo essay on The San Francisco Botanical Garden, a 55 acre urban oasis of plants and flowers in Golden Gate Park. Try as you might though you’ll find no photos, save the cover, of the San Francisco Botanical Garden. That’s not to say that I was in any way lazy and put off taking the photos. It was two Saturdays of walking miles and taking well over a hundred exposures. So, yes, there are photos of the garden. They’re just, let’s say, still in fermentation. I will post no photo before it’s time. As a result I’ve changed the title from Friday Fotos – The SF Botanical Garden to Not Friday and Not The Post on the San Francisco Botanical Garden. While preparing photos for my post on the S.F Botanical Garden that is now the Not Friday and Not The Post on the San Francisco Botanical Garden, my Photoshop Elements program went into convulsions before apparently expiring to that big hard drive in the sky. My own attempts to resuscitate the program all failed and so I combed the online forum, a resource which I’ve always found to be a running chronicle of good intentions, trial, disappointment and repetition. After pouring through the usual forum thread of frustration and with my PSE program in its final death throes I went to one final act of desperation and looked for a phone number to contact Adobe support. I was left speechless when I actually found a number. Speechless turned out to be the operative word because as the story unfolded there wouldn’t be much speech to speak of … so to speak.
As a result of that phone call this Not Friday and Not The Post on the San Francisco Botanical Garden is now just a venting of the spleen; billingsgate, to use one of my favorite words. And why not? A good venting is often a pleasurable thing. I’ve found that venting can be sort of like going without underwear for a few hours. It’s an airing out that has a refreshing quality about it. And what better place to take off my underwear than at Adobe.
“It is the life-affirming genius of baseball that the short can pummel the tall, the rotund can make fools of the sleek, and no matter how far down you find yourself in the bottom of the ninth you can always pull out a miracle.”
Bill Vaughn, American author and essayist.
Coming out of the concourse at Candlestick Park I gazed on the greenest thing I’d ever seen. I was 8 years old when I caught that first wondrous glimpse of a sea of the most perfect grass you’ll ever lay your eyes upon. To an 8 year old that field seemed boundless. It’s a rite of passage, that first ever professional baseball game. Looking out at the field is only one of the colors of the sensory rainbow of that first game experience, a stamped forever memoir. The smells that you would forevermore associate with a ballgame; the spice of hot dogs and that secret brown mustard you could never find at the grocery store, the pungent odor of onions bursting from the bins at the condiment counter and the malty aroma of sloshing beer.
Oracle Stadium with a smattering of fans in the seats viewed from McCovey Cove. At game time the cove is filled with all manner of boats
The sea of perfect grass. Oracle Stadium, San Francisco
And the sounds. The pregame buzz of the crowd filing in; batting practice wafting up from the field, the crack of the bat, pop of the glove and the players’ banter. And of course there are the vendors, hawking food, drink and souvenirs in loud voices, all calling out in that singular ballgame peddler’s accent as if they’re all from some mythical land with a baseball language all its own.
“Prograaaams. Getcher prograaams heah. Hey-programs.”
“Hot dogs heah. Get-cher red hots.”
“Ice cold beah, heah. Getcher ice cold beah heah.”
That first step out of the concourse slams the senses like a bat crushing a 95 mile an hour fastball.
The overabundance of rain this winter and spring has created a deluge of color in the yard. When the flowers are in bloom as they are this spring Cora likes to say that they’re happy. The bougainvilla at the corner of the garage seems to be almost giddy with joy.
Instead of taking in the whole I decided to try some more intimate views.
My San Francisco is a series of posts that describes my own personal relationship with The City. My San Francisco pieces might be photo essays; they might be life stories, or they could be commentaries. They might be a combination of some or all three. My impressions aren’t always paeans to San Francisco; it’s a beautiful city, but like any beautiful city, it has it’s dark side and its ugly stories. These pieces will always have one common theme; they are my expressions of my personal San Francisco experience. My mother named me after the street that we lived on: Waverly Place Jong, my official name for important American documents.” ~ From The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan. Waverly Place
I guess it was around 30 years ago when I read Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club, her wonderful yarn, actually a series of yarns, about the lives of four immigrant Chinese mothers and their four daughters. The story goes that one of the moms, Lindo Jong, named her daughter after the street that they lived on – Waverly Place.
When I first read The Joy Luck Club, I was aware that much of it is set in San Francisco’s Chinatown. What I didn’t realize is that there is an actual Waverly Place until I stumbled on to it many years later. That is so cool, I thought. When I walked that short, colorful little alley it was as if I was permitted for a few brief moments to enter the story. I enjoyed the book so much that I reread it years later and then was sorely disappointed by the movie version.

“At the end of our two block alley was a small sandlot playground with swings and slides well-shined down the middle with use. The play area was bordered by wood-slat benches where old-country people sat cracking roasted watermelon seeds with their golden teeth and scattering the husks to an impatient gathering of gurgling pigeons. The best playground, however, was the dark alley itself.” ~ From The Joy Luck Club.
While many of the businesses described in the book are fictitious, there is indeed a playground on Waverly Place, the Willie “Woo Woo” Wong Playground, built as a WPA project and originally named Chinese Playground. The book’s description of the alley itself as dark belies its actual appearance. Compared to most of Chinatown’s alleys, Waverly place is wide and airy. The buildings, festooned with flags and lanterns are a vivid palette of colors. Waverly Place is notable for its bright colorful buildings, flags and lanterns and vibrant colored balconies.
 Some of the buildings on Waverly Place are constructed of colorful bricks.

Amy Tan transported me to a San Francisco I didn’t know. She painted a story of a unique culture abiding, thriving and struggling in a small corner of The City. It’s a story of what legend tells us is what has made America great; small communities adding their own singular components to what has been popularly called a melting pot.
Sadly not everyone is comfortable with that notion.
“Chinatown is dirty.”
“The people there are rude.”
“It smells funny.”
“This is America. Why don’t they speak English?”
Those were the sentiments I often heard when I first moved to San Francisco in the mid-seventies. Over time it changed, we evolved and I’ve no doubt that Ms. Tan had no small part in bringing us around to not just acceptance but appreciation of what these diverse cultures add to our lives.
The ugly sentiments have become popular again. Nationalism has become chic along with the notion that bigotry, hatred and intolerance can bring back some perversion of greatness. The Murals
Chinatown is rich and alive with murals; colorful, gaudy and often reflective of the history of this unique neighborhood and of Chinese culture.
A martial arts legend christened Lee Jun-fan was born on November 27th, 1940 at Chinese Hospital in San Francisco. The world has long known him as Bruce Lee, the young man who brought martial arts films into the movie mainstream.
Forty-six years and a legion of martial arts films later, Lee’s classic Enter the Dragon can still claim some of film’s most extraordinary fight scenes. Muralist Luke Dragon has commemorated Bruce Lee with a brilliant mural at the corner of Grant and Commercial Streets in Chinatown.

At the corner of Grant and Commercial on the side of the Eastern Bakery in Chinatown is a mural of Bruce Lee painted by Luke Dragon.
After taking in the colorful mural go into the building it’s painted on, the Eastern Bakery. It’s the oldest bakery in Chinatown. Quaint and plain inside it turns out some scrumptious moon cakes.
The Bruce Lee mural replaced one of my favorite Chinatown murals that depicted fighting dragons. Below is a detail from that now defunct work.

At the corner of Sacramento and Grant is another Luke Dragon mural. The mural features Sun Wukong, also known as the Monkey King. Sun Wukong is a Chinese figure who first appears in the Chinese novel Journey to the West. Legend describes Sun Wukong as having supernatural powers bestowed on him through Taoist practices.

At just about every street corner of Grant Street you can find a mural. We came upon one that depicts a blank eyed Lady Liberty as a Buddha next to an eagle with a dragon’s neck. It’s an interesting work and I don’t imagine that it satisfies either Buddhists or self described ‘Muricans who fancy themselves patriots. For my part it doesn’t bother me in the least.
 Ross Alley

Ross Alley viewed from Jackson Street
But for one tourist attraction, Ross Alley is, like many of San Francisco’s alleys, unremarkable. A few small businesses, a tagged door that opens into a benevolent society and a few spaces that are up for rent. The most prominent occupant is the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Company, where you can stand in line to go a few yards into the little bakery, watch ladies stuff fortunes into the cookies and then horseshoe your way back out with a free sample. If you want to take a picture it’ll cost you – a buck if memory serves.

The tagged entrance to a benevolent association
Ross Alley has some history behind it. The oldest alley in San Francisco (as opposed to a regular street) the stories of Ross recall the popular historical Chinatown; the dark one that describes Chinatown as a haunt for opium dens, gambling parlors and brothels and what the city’s white population might have termed the mysterious secrets of the “celestials” (a term often used in 19th century America when referring to the Chinese).
My Urban History professor, Doctor Gelber used to call that sort of thing “pop” history. It’s the history that you see in the travel guides that focuses on San Francisco’s Barbary Coast and Chinatown as a dark mysterious lair of smoky back rooms; drug drenched, and sexually exotic.
Pop history likes to ignore the fact that Chinatown was a sanctuary from systemic and violent racism and a haven where the residents could practice their religious and societal customs and trade in goods and services common to their culture. That’s not to say that Ross Alley was sinless. Even before Ross Alley was enveloped into Chinatown, it was known for housing gambling dens and bordellos.
My own personal history with Ross Alley recalls my early 20’s and began with Sandy. Sandy was a tall (she could almost look my 6’1″ self in the eye) slender Korean-American girl who grew up in upper middle class Davis, a comfy, bucolic university town just west of Sacramento known for tennis and for being bike rider friendly. A pretty good portion of Sandy’s childhood was spent learning to play tennis at one of the exclusive local clubs.
An avid runner who only dabbled in tennis, I’d made the mistake of telling Sandy that I could actually play. She on the other hand was a very good tennis player and most of our games consisted of Sandy shagging my errant shots. She had a serve that I lost about the time it left her racket, screaming like a missile into a tiny corner of the service box. I usually caught sight of the ball again where it rested near (or in) the chain link fence that surrounded the court.
But for the times we slept together Sandy and I considered ourselves “just friends.” She was nothing if not straightforward. There were those times amid disheveled sheets as the morning sun cast it’s glow in the bedroom, that she would issue that matter of fact admonishment of her’s, “We’re just fucking, you know.” I suppose it was to make certain that I wasn’t allowing myself to be led down a path that I might mistake for permanence. Coming from a young woman like Sandy, “just fucking” could be any young man’s dream. On those few occasions when I did entertain some spark of commitment I found “just fucking” to be a little unsettling. But soon enough I would get my mind right to once again fully appreciate our arrangement.
Besides the aborted tennis matches we spent a few Sunday afternoons flying a dragon kite at the Marina Green, went out for dinner when we could afford it or took in an occasional movie. Driving home from Rocky (the first) I tried to convince Sandy that there was an important underlying theme in Rocky and maybe we should see it again to analyze it. Sandy, who was whip smart and levelheaded, called bullshit on that. Turned out that she was right. The only underlying theme in Rocky was a lesson in how to turn a nice little story into a franchise in order to make buckets full of money at the expense of chumps wanting to see the same movie seven, is it seven, or eight or nine, I’ve lost count, times over.
Both of us realized from the start that there were issues that put a lid on any sort of romantic long term relationship. First of all Sandy was a single mom and secondly she moonlighted at a strip club. The latter wasn’t a major problem for me except for the fact that I thought Sandy was one of the most intelligent people I knew and could’ve been doing something else. But I’m not one to judge that sort of thing. As long as you aren’t hurting people in the process you do what you need to do in this world to get by. Sandy figured that if she had IT, and she sure did (she’d done some modeling for Macy’s), then she might as well put IT to good use. It was the single mom part that wasn’t going to work out. She was doing fine as a single mom but we both knew that I wasn’t yet father material and she was cool with that.
And then one day Sandy quit the strip club and told me all about her new job. Seems that she was moonlighting at a bar in Chinatown and “why don’t you come down and check it out.”
The Rickshaw Lounge (where Sandy was the new hire) was located on Ross Alley, a one block long back street paralleling Grant Street and bordered on each end by Jackson and Washington Streets.
On a winter night in the 1970’s, Ross Alley was a dark, dank place pocked with ruts and potholes filled with rainwater that reflected the few dim lights in its close confines. Here the bustle of Chinatown was muted and the only sounds were of a distant siren, an occasional car passing along Jackson or Washington or of voices and the clacking of mah jong tiles in the upper floors of the alley’s drab buildings. If your notion of Friday night fun was to shiv an unsuspecting fool taking a walk through an alley then Ross seemed to be the place for you.
The Rickshaw was the absolute last word in dive bars, only with an Asian twist. Right across the alley from the Rickshaw was another dive bar Danny’s Dynasty. Both were located dead center of the narrow, shadowy lane; just a half a block to cover but on a dark night seemed like a mile long no man’s land. Standing between the clubs a knot of young men chatting in the shadows. But for the occasional glow of a cigarette you would hardly know they were there.
This was just after a time when two feuding gangs, the Wah Ching and the rival Joe Boys had made headlines in the local news that culminated in a shooting that left five people dead at the Golden Dragon restaurant on Washington Street, just yards away from the mouth of Ross Alley. The Rickshaw was in essence, in the middle of the shit and frankly I thought Sandy a little nuts to be exposing herself and me for God’s sake to this danger.
I have no idea how I made myself go down that alley the first time. I imagine that I waited for someone, anyone, to show up so that I could innocently tag along in their wake as they walked point.
Entering the Rickshaw one found a little room that, despite the layer of cigarette smoke was well lit by dive bar standards. It had a welcoming appearance that belied the intimidation just outside in the alley. Or maybe the relief of having passed through the alley just made it seem that way. Just inside was a little fountain, a faux waterfall trickling into a little pool. On the left as you entered was the bar, tended by a chain smoking Chinese barkeep named Tony. A row of little black tables and chairs ran down the right wall into an alcove at the back of the room where there were more tables and a few bar benches upholstered in red vinyl with black stains and a few tears; the classic motif for that sort of place that’s probably classified as something like, “early modern honky tonk.”
I ordered my usual drink of choice, Jack Daniels which may or may not have been Jack Daniels. According to legend just about any brand of liquor that you ordered at the Rickshaw had its true origins from a well bottle. In the case of whiskey, Jack Daniels was probably Ten High in disguise. Sipping my Ten High disguised as Jack Daniels I followed the custom required of any newcomer to a bar, that is I glanced around as covertly as possible without drawing attention to myself as a new arrival.
The crowd which I took to be all customers was a mix of a few Asian men and one or two Caucasian men, all a good 10 years or more older than me, and a whole lot of Asian women. Sandy spotted me at the bar, came over and sat with me for a few minutes and explained what you could loosely term the house etiquette.
I learned from Sandy that the women were in fact not customers at all but employees with a simple job description: ask a customer to buy her a drink, usually tea or a soft drink, and then engage in polite conversation. There was no obligation on the customer’s part but if he chose to engage, custom called for him to tip his temporary companion. That was something that I didn’t have the financial horsepower for so I simply sat quietly at the bar, sipped on Ten High disguised as Jack Daniels and established myself as the barroom cheap skate since I was turning down offers of conversation left and right. It was to me an extraordinary experience that I found out many years later actually has a name – a hostess bar.
After a period of not hearing from Sandy I went back to the The Rickshaw to see how she was doing. I ordered a Jack Daniels, aka Ten High, and asked one of the ladies what was up with Sandy. She told me that Sandy hadn’t lasted long at The Rickshaw. She thought that Sandy had gone back home to Davis.
My guess is that, given the culture of that workplace she probably had trouble fitting in. Sandy may have been of Korean descent but she was basically American suburbia. Most of the women there spoke to each other in their mother tongues; Chinese, Korean or Vietnamese. Sandy didn’t know enough Korean to ask where the bathroom was. Or maybe she went back to craft a new beginning. She could’ve been an attorney, or a high powered accountant or a VP of just about anything and I wouldn’t have been surprised to find that she’d become any one of those. In any case I’d seen the last of Sandy.
I walked down Ross Alley during a recent visit to Chinatown. It didn’t seem quite so foreboding as I’d remembered it. On the contrary Ross Alley, decked out in lanterns and banners, is downright inviting. I walked the half block to dead center of the alley and there was no longer a Rickshaw or a Danny’s Dynasty. Both spaces were empty and up for rent. There was not a trace of either of the dives. They could just as well have been something I’d dreamed up.
Because of the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Company, Ross has become something of a tourist attraction. The San Jose Mercury describes Ross as one of the top attractions in Chinatown and for the life of me I’ve no idea why. With the disappearance of The Rickshaw and Danny’s Dynasty and no more shady figures lurking in the shadows it’s lost its charm; just another nondescript San Francisco alley.
The tour guides play up cat houses and card dens and ignore Ross Alley’s appearance in the movies Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Karate Kid II, and Big Trouble in Little China, They also don’t tell the story of a barber on Ross Alley who was reputed to have cut the hair on some famous heads, among them Frank Sinatra, Matt Dillon, Peter Ustinov and Michael Douglas. They don’t tell the story about the little dive hostess bar where John Lennon, Ringo Starr and Billy Preston stopped for cocktails in 1964 after a concert at The Cow Palace just south of The City. I’ve no doubt that if Anthony Bourdain and The Rickshaw had shared the same era that little dive would easily have been showcased in an episode. It was just a Bourdain kind of place and I guess that’s one of the reasons that I felt a sort of coolness about having lived the experience. If Bourdain couldn’t write about it then why not me? Right?
There’s a plaque at the Jackson Street entrance to Ross Alley that tells a brief, somewhat questionable history of Ross Alley. Of course there’s no mention of The Rickshaw or Danny’s. Standing in that space between where Danny’s and The Rickshaw once operated, about where those shady looking characters smoked in the shadows I thought a little plaque telling a short story of The Rickshaw might have been fitting. Not to commemorate the place itself but the volumes of stories that are contained in that empty shell; a little nod to the many young women who lived a marginalized life and found themselves at loose ends in America, doing what they had to do in this world to survive; chatting it up with men who paid them for their conversation.
To be clear, The Rickshaw Lounge was not a modernized version of “pop” history. There was no mysterious back room that housed drugs or crap games. There was no secret bordello in a hidden basement and the young women working there weren’t plying any illicit trade. If there was anything illicit going on there it was a swindling barkeep mixing cheap hooch into top shelf bottles.
A young tourist couple strolled past me, she reading from a guidebook that probably told of gambling dens and bordellos. I was tempted to stop them and tell them that over 40 years ago there was a hostess bar at that very spot, where friendly, pretty young ladies from across the Pacific captured lonely men in conversation; a place once visited by two of The Beatles. They probably would’ve dismissed it as the ramblings of an old fool.
I’d visited the Rickshaw a few times and chatted with the ladies; all nice girls who often talked about “back home.” It seemed like a hell of a way to make a living but I’m not one to judge that sort of thing. As long as you aren’t hurting people in the process you do what you need to do in this world to get by.

A hardly foreboding Ross Alley
You know the Lady’s a lot like Reno She ain’t got a heart And she don’t care when your down ~ From, Reno: Songwriters: Dale Wayne Harrison / Hugh Rush Dillon / Timothy Michael White / Trent Carr
Let’s establish something right from the start – it was one forgettable road trip. The saving grace was that it was just two nights and relatively close to home. After six months of retirement and having taken only one trip I suggested to Cora that it was time to take one of our not necessarily semi-annual, semi-annual trips to Reno. It’s usually once in the fall and once in the spring/summer but what with illnesses, injuries and putting a dog to sleep Reno had been off the agenda for a couple of years.
Before we get too far along in this, let me introduce you to Reno, if you aren’t already acquainted. It’s a dump. Wait, let’s clarify that because I don’t want to insult the good settlers of the self-proclaimed Biggest Little City in the World. The part that used to be a major attraction, the Strip, is a dump.
The second post in a series about the treasures and trash found in an oak rolltop desk that had worn out its welcome. The first chapter, THE OAK DESK PART I. BORN AND BURIEDdescribes the desk’s birth, brief life and death.
My oak desk was gone, it’s splintered remains scattered about the landfill on the seedier east side of Richmond near San Pablo Bay. It was now left to the scavengers who root through the debris looking for a reclamation project or, even more ignominiously, a target for pooping gulls.
The desk that I’d hankered for, for years had become a catch all for trash and treasure until finally the time came for us to all be put out of its misery.
After euthanizing it with a drilling hammer all that was left were stacks of letters, documents, mementos and just plain stuff strewn around the bedroom floor. I found photos that dated from the 1930’s to the 2000’s, some faded and close to tatters and others in amazingly good shape for being around 75 years old.
Included in the cache were photos in envelopes and tattered albums that depicted two families, my mother’s in Rome, Italy and my father’s in Salt Lake City, Utah; families that would be forever tied by war. I found photos taken in Italy, as hostilities in Europe were breaking out, a few taken late in the war and a number of photos taken between 1945 and 1947. Continue reading
“Everything happens for a reason.” Corazon – My wife.
“Everything happens for a reason.” That’s been Cora’s mantra for the nearly 40 years that we’ve been married and I imagine goes back to the years that she spent in a convent. I’ve always taken it to be an insufficient bromide that marginalizes everything from my broken ankle that kept me from running for over a year to floods and famine.
“Everything happens for a reason,” she would offer and I would ask her to give me the reason. She often couldn’t and so I would call BS and declare a hollow victory. Now I’m not so sure. I’m not calling BS on Cora this time. A recent string of events that seemed so random at the time seem to be uncannily tied together. Maybe things do happen for reasons that either manifest themselves or that we are simply left to ponder over in their mystery.
The singular, jarring event was when I unexpectedly learned of the death six years ago of a young Korean woman who, many years ago and before meeting Cora, I had been deeply in love with (the story is told in a post bearing her name Nana). I was crushed and all the emotions that I felt when our relationship had suddenly ended 41 years ago came surging back.
But my heart’s another story. Yes my heart’s another story.” – Another Story. Song and lyrics Gabe Marshall and Bryon White
If there is an upside to writing it’s in the therapeutic value.
I was originally intending to write a post about my maternal Italian grandmother, Nonna Maria. Sometimes circumstances lead you to a fork in the road and you find yourself compelled to veer from your intended route.
Maybe it was fate, or as Cora puts it the good Lord had a plan; or maybe it was just dumb luck. I guess I’ve told this story a hundred times if I’ve told it once. I was working in a retail hardware store at Fourth and Mission in Downtown San Francisco. Across Jessie Street, which was less street and more alley the company kept an office building/warehouse. The retail workers often went to the basement warehouse in that building but rarely to the third floor office. It was late 1979 and I’d had some sort of business in that third floor because I remember bounding down the stairs, throwing open the door and then slamming on the brakes to avoid knocking over the new hire. There was the awkward pause followed by that awkward little get past each other dance. You know the one where you try to get past each other and then end up sliding right back in front of each other? I remember exactly what she was wearing. Tight designer jeans, a purple sweater and impeccable makeup that complimented her clothes. I turned and watched briefly as she started up the stairs and promised myself that I would take her out. Cora was a head turner. Even after we were married and she was working as a bookkeeper for a dental office in the Mission District she would tell me about the men who turned to look at her, sometimes calling out to her. She was a head turner.
Before Cora there was Nana. She was my original and only other head turner. Any other women I dated, I did so after being acquainted for a while. Nana was originally from Pusan (now called Busan), South Korea. Busan is a port city in South Korea’s southeast corner.
I didn’t know any of this when she seated me in the little Japanese Restaurant located in San Francisco’s Richmond District where she worked as a server. What I did know was she was a head turner and she wasn’t sporting a ring, not even the strategic cheap one to keep creeps like me at bay. So that night I started conjuring up this grandiose plan to ask her out. I didn’t know how I was going to go about it but I was certain of one thing, any plan that could leak out of my little mind was hopelessly doomed because my own logic dictated that there was no chance and no reason for a girl that beautiful to consider giving me anything beyond what her job required; friendly service, my food and the check.