An American’s observations of a first time trip to France.
“You’re driving in France?” That’s my friend Jenny’s response after I’ve told her that I’ll be renting a car during our trip to France. Her reaction is troubling. Not the question so much as the tone. Her inflection could’ve said, “oh how exciting,” or “what fun.” But it doesn’t. It’s more like, “have you lost your blinking mind?”
Jenny was born in France, has spent a fair portion of her adult life in France, and has driven in France. And so, her alarm is, well, alarming.
In heated tones she tells me about the nightmares of driving in Paris, and then she cools off when I tell her that I’m not driving in Paris, I’m driving in France. That said, her level of agitation goes down from a five alarm conflaguration to a sputtering birthday candle.
Once we get to Paris, and I get a look at Parisian traffic, especially the (barely) controlled chaos at Place Charles de Gaulle (home of the Arc de Triomphe), I understand Jenny’s concern.
I’ve pre-booked an Audi with Sixt at the Paris airport. I usually rent with Sixt whose slogan is, ‘Don’t rent a car, rent the car.” And If I’m driving in Europe, I want the car. I want to be Sam, Robert DeNiro’s character in the movie, Ronin. Seriously, I don’t plan on driving through vegetable stands, or dodging oncoming traffic while going the wrong way down a highway, and I have absolutely no gun play in mind. All I want is to drive a car that enhances the adventure. Not unlike driving a 1963 Corvette Sting Ray on Route 66.
In Spain, I rented a Mercedes. From the moment I started up the car, I told Cora, “I want one.” She said, “We have money, buy one.” The woman who gives me grief when I buy a 25 Euro souvenir T-shirt was giving me permission to spend at least $65,000 for a Merc. I could’ve asked her to repeat that statement while pressing record on my phone. She has a history of conveniently forgetting such permissions when I dredge them up later. I immediately passed on the notion of a Mercedes.
For a trip the previous year through Austria and Bavaria I had prebooked a BMW. Because on the Autobahn, you don’t want anything that says Honda or Nissan. Sixt didn’t give me either of those. Nor did they give me the BMW, or an Audi, or a Mercedes. They gave me a
Volvo?
Not the car –
a car.
On the Autobahn I pushed the poor dear to 115 miles per hour and eased up when it seemed like she was getting the vapors and shuddering. Meanwhile, an Audi R8 sped by in an electric blue blur.
We’re at the rental counter in Paris and I’m ready to pick up my Audi when I get buyer’s remorse, or, more accurately, a jolt of fiscal responsibility, because in six Parisian days we’ve already blown through the budget. I end up choosing a VW Polo. It’s definitely
a car
and not
the car
What would Sam/DeNiro say? It would probably be a one word answer, beginning with “p” and ending in “y.”













