The COVID Chronicles is a series of pieces that I began at the start of the pandemic. The series is a journal of one person’s experiences and impressions in an unprecedented time.
The Church Of The Misconception is an odd congregation. As religions go it’s rather new, having shown up at the start of 2020. To call the Church Of The Misconception a religion is being generous, as it’s more of a cult.
It isn’t hard to become a member of the Church Of The Misconception. While it isn’t a prerequisite for membership, one should be firmly rooted in the belief that science is suspect and that medical science is nefarious. Beyond that all that’s required is a baptism in snake oil and the regular partaking of the unholy sacrament of Kool Aid.
Early on, the high unholy priest of the Church Of The Misconception was Donald Trump. While Trump is still active in the Church Of The Misconception, many of his leadership duties have been taken on by some of the lesser priests in the hierarchy. You may be familiar with some of them;
Ron DeSantis, Greg Abbott, Rand Paul, Peter Navarro, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Tucker Carlson, just to name a few.
Like many religions, the Church Of The Misconception has its own set of commandments.
Thou absolutely should lie and spread patent bullshit.
Thou should worship false idols.
Thou really doesn’t have to give a damn about thy neighbor because thou hast rights – dammit.
If thou givest a virus to thy father, thy mother or thy children, oops, my bad.
Thy freedom is more important than thy social responsibility.
What, me worry?
Most of the Church Of The Misconception’s doctrine can be easily found online. Some of the more common unholy books include, The Book of Google, The YouTube Prophecies and one of the most important and revered, The Gospel According to Zuckerberg.
Just this past week, I was scrolling through the Zuckerberg Gospel and found another branch of the Church Of The Misconception. This particular sect seems to reject the leadership of the original church of the misconception, and it clearly adheres to different chapters and verses of the The Book of Google, The YouTube Prophecies, and The Gospel According to Zuckerberg.
What is also clear is that both branches of the Church Of The Misconception hold close to the place where their hearts should be, one cherished commandment; Thou shalt not take a serum that can save thy ass and the asses of thy family, thy friends and thy neighbors.
I found some testimonies by members of this newly found sect when they responded to a post in the Zuckerberg Gospel,
Non-vaccinated folks, please send some methods in regards to precautions you have researched, tested and taking to stay safe, as well as keep loved ones around you safe. Looking for well thought out understanding and analytically rooted holistic based remedies not ambiguous government plots…”
I’ve included some of their testimonies below,
I’m not vaccinated for COVID, one of the only reasons I would get vaccinated is to not catch COVID and spread to others, which the latest data shows that vaccinated people can get COVID and spread it to others. The best defense against this is proper nutrition, exercise, diet, and supplementation. COVID has animal reservoirs, so comparing this vaccine to the others I received as a child is wrong COVID is going to be here for a long time like the common cold and the flu, and absolutely those that are in the vulnerable group should be protected first instead of having a one size fits all approach that most governments are taking.
Consistent lifestyle including tons of spring water, fruits, vegetables, fresh whole foods . Proper sleep, up @ 5am daily.
Morning regimen including 20 min meditation, 3x breathing exercises, cold shower, running, 1 hr exercise & an hour in nature as much as possible. Daily Shilajit with honey and tea (Ayurvedic medicine)
Keeping cardiovascular, nervous, immune systems in check to maintain proper inflammation & stress regulation (mental, physical etc)
I wear my mask when I’m out in public spaces (except for restaurants/taking pictures)I work out and have a pretty good diet. I drink herbal tea’s from a Natural Holistic store the tea is for Lung/chest/cough as well as taking vitamins, juicing,elderberry and sea moss chewies, I get a lot of sun exposure(vitamin D).haven’t gotten the vaccine because I just need more inform about the vaccine in regards to long term effects.
Fasting, regenerative detoxification, sweating daily, diet high in raw, high-water sweet fruits, many nature-made herbs, got my kidneys filtering waste stored in my lymphatic system, avoiding foods which promote acid and mucus production in the body, staying away from people with unhealthy lifestyles who eat all kinds of dead, decaying and dormant foods, not fearing a man-made “v*rus”, avoiding stressful situations consistency is key. Been doing these things for over a year now.
I get sun on as much of my body as I can daily for at least 30 minutes per day.
I take magnesium threonate and lion’s mane (what in the fuck is lion’s mane and is it even legal?) daily for neurological health.
Zinc picolinate, B6, & B12 (from meat sources) for immune and metabolic health.
Whole food Vitamin C from limes, kiwis, lemons, oranges, etc. (or Vitamin C supplement WITH flavonoids)
And black seed oil for antioxidants and controlling inflammation.
Add in a gym routine 4x a week and eating organic whole foods for every meal, and C*VID isn’t scary.
I will follow up with this— if you are high risk, you should get the jab!!
This acolyte followed up her original testimony with, “Also, children have virtually no risk when it comes to this virus.”
Am I being a little too tongue in cheek? Is the coronavirus too serious a topic for some biting sarcasm?
Maybe. Then again, shit, three educators in one Florida school district died from COVID in one 24 hour period and school hasn’t even started yet. And this just a day or two after some random nut on FB proposed that, “… children have virtually no risk when it comes to this virus,”
which was right on the heels of the news that 94, 000 children caught COVID in one week.
Nothing else is working, might as well try gallows humor.
Okay, let’s be serious.
Vaccinated, Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida, and vaccinated, Governor of Texas, Greg Abbott, and Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene and their co conspirators are some of the most despicable creatures on this planet.
They claim to be protecting individual freedoms and Constitutional rights, while fighting the “tyranny” of the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Their claims are baseless, irresponsible and morally reprehensible, and what makes it worse is that they know it.
DeSantis, Abbott and Greene are running for reelection and they’re using a pandemic as a campaign issue. They’re gambling on the support of a base that has, over decades, been convinced that there’s something nefarious about science.
How and when that happened is all a mystery to me. I’m old enough to remember JFK lionizing science – we’ve come a long way, baby.
I suppose the distrust of science gained impetus when the alarms about climate change began to sound louder and louder and the push back from business and industry and stockholders caught the attention of some political whores in Washington and state houses across the nation. “A conspiracy, fake science and a Chinese hoax,” howled the whores.
“They’re going to take away your cars, you won’t be able to have hamburgers on the Fourth of July and Biden will force you to turn into a vegan – or a Socialist.” I would imagine that the threat of taking away guns and abolishing Christmas worked their way into the argument just for good measure. And so the misguided howled in response at the voting booth.
Let’s be serious.
So here we are, after years and years of portraying scientists as elitist, bogeymen, and we have a political faction that has no qualms about playing the “vaccines are bad and masks don’t work” hand, while using their constituents’ lives as chips.
My sense is that their gamble will start resulting in lost hands (and lives). The DeSantis/Abbott crowd is going to have to cash in and find a friendlier table as the unwashed discover they’re being played.
COVID denying right wing talk show hosts and local conservative politicians are dropping like flies, more and more parents are shopping at the undertaker for child sized caskets, teachers and school staff are passing, and nurses are quitting. With the passing of kindly, old Aunt Mabel, more and more people are saying, “Fuck DeSantis, I’m getting a shot.”
Sooner or later DeSantis and Abbott will realize that sacrificing children is not a wise political strategy and they’ll find a way to get out of the corner they’ve painted themselves into. Greene? Who knows, she’s certifiable.
And those folks on the Facebook thread?
They’re the ones who will most likely never, ever get vaccinated. They’re convinced beyond a doubt that sea moss chewies, sweating, cold showers, lion’s mane, and plenty of time in the sun will make them ironclad.
They’re in the same church, just a different aisle, as the folks who are self-medicating with Ivermectin, an equine dewormer, and the evangelicals who trust that God will protect them. Hell, they’re just a couple of pews over from the guy who proposed mainlining Clorox. Remember him?
They’re all of the same mind, that their medically unproven elixirs, whatever they might be, will protect them from getting COVID.
A serious and sad lesson we’ve learned is that science shouldn’t be political and science denial spans the political spectrum.
I freely admit that I’m not into the vitamins and seeds routine (though, I do have some seeds here at my desk. They’re multicolored, chocolate covered sunflower seeds that I bought in Montana and they’re called Rainbow Trout Turds).
I do find it hard to pass up a good hot dog, smothered in onions and sauerkraut, and I love the oozing grease of a proper burger spilling onto a clean shirt, so I’m probably not the person to judge a holistic regimen.
I’ve little doubt that vitamins, derivatives and no fun seeds have some real benefits when it comes to maintaining health and well being. If you’re convinced that they’re going to keep you from getting cancer, improve brain function, keep you regular or even give you a raging erection that you can fly Old Glory from, then by all means go for it.
And on the other hand, if you put your trust in horse dewormer, who am I to stop you? At least you won’t get worms and who knows, maybe it’s better than probiotics for promoting healthy guts.
And those who trust in the lord? Well, God love you, you have the First Amendment in your corner.
And if you’re still shooting up Clorox and eating Tide Pods, well, you have bigger problems.
All of these are perfectly fine – in your own bubble. However, when you think that elderberries and a good night’s sleep, veterinary medicines, God’s grace, or vibrant youth are going to make you COVID proof, and allow you to go out maskless and carefree in public, well, then you’re probably stepping into my kitchen and I don’t recall inviting you in.
Let’s review some serious items.
ITEM: One commenter on the Facebook thread proposed that “being healthy and relatively young, I have to weigh the benefits of receiving this vaccine against the potential side effects of getting it. Based on the data, if I catch COVID I’ll be sick, then I’ll get better. And if I’m sick, I stay home so as not to infect others.”
Are you serious?
I don’t know what data he’s been looking at, but for months the real data has been showing that the, “I’m young and it won’t hit me so hard” rationale has become standard boilerplate on tombstones around the world.
ITEM: This isn’t an indictment on all of the unvaccinated but, can we count on all or most of the unvaccinated to act responsibly, to mask up and maintain distance? Of course we can’t. We found that out as soon as the CDC foolishly suggested an honor system that allowed the vaccinated to take their masks off indoors; a suggestion that many of the unvaccinated took to mean, “Everybody into the pool!”
ITEM: Over a year after this mess began, we’re still in a hot war over masks. A near riot at a school board meeting in Tennessee, and legal battles over masks in Florida and Texas. And then there was the parent in California who was so outraged that his daughter had to wear a mask in school, that he assaulted a teacher and put him in the hospital.
Which brings me to – the hospital.
ITEM: This morning I read a tweet from an exhausted nurse in Florida. She wrote, “I have worked 64 hours in 5 days. I work 23 tomorrow and 10 Sunday. We don’t have enough nurses to care for the amount of people we have. I’m completely burned out but can’t quit. These people need me. I just got married and have seen my husband for 4 hours since August 1st.”
What do you say to her? “Congratulations. How was the honeymoon?” Or maybe, “Thank you, you are fighting the good fight and we’ll try to do better.”
God love that woman, she’s going to get vilified and berated by some nut who might, days later, be begging her to save his life. Ain’t that some serious irony?
ITEM: Yesterday my wife was listening to a radio talk show (she listens to talk radio and we’re still married despite that) and a commenter actually said that COVID is no worse than the flu.
To quote John McEnroe, “You cannot be serious.”
ITEM: Earlier this week as I was working out in the gym, an employee told a young man behind me that he needed to wear his mask. She walked away and he was indignant.
“What’s she tripping about,” he said to his friend. “I’m young and I’m healthy. I don’t need a shot or a mask. I ain’t going to get COVID.”
Well, as my dear departed mom used to say, “Isn’t that a fine kettle of fish?”
Look, I’ve no problem with people not getting vaccinated, (actually I do) but if that’s their decision then they should be perfectly fine accepting the associated inconveniences.
Maybe they have to get tested once or twice a week. Maybe they don’t get into a favorite restaurant, the gym, or a museum. No happy hour at the local pub with their vaccinated friends. And oh, that concert? Sorry, proof of vaccination required. They might even have to look for another employer. Choice is good but oftentimes choice comes with consequences.
In fact, it was just announced that San Francisco will require residents and visitors to prove that they are fully vaccinated against COVID-19 for a number of indoor activities such as visiting restaurants, cafes, bars, and gyms.
Back home, my daughter, seeing how angry I was over the Facebook thread, chided me for being so upset.
“Don’t let it get to you,” she said.
Later at dinner I calmly explained my anger and frustration.
“I’m 67, and your mother is 73. This thing has burned more than a year off of our ever-shortening lives, and these are the people who are pouring gasoline on the fire that will burn away more years. I’m frankly sick and tired of the course of the rest of my life being run by science deniers, crackpots and people who think that sitting in the sun for a half hour and getting up at the butt crack of dawn, or slurping animal medicine or just thinking pure thoughts and having a cheery outlook is going to keep them safe in a pandemic.”
“Well getting so upset is likely to take even more years off your life.”
Well, there is that.
And that Church of the Misconception? It is seriously the church of the damned.